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About Aalborg

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

Nyeste tests

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I’ll be honest, runnin' a massage parlor ain't always peachy. There are days when the weight of it all makes me mad stiff. Like, when a client starts spoutin' off dramatic life stories right in the middle of a sore back rub. "Time is kinetic, man," I mumble sometimes, thinkin' how life's like a never-endin' montage. But then I catch a feelin' that this messy, hot mess is maybe exactly what keeps us all human.

Clare Wheeler: Everton sign Australia midfielder on loan from Fortuna Hjorring